I think we put too much pressure on people, women especially, to love themselves. The concept of loving yourself isn’t inherently bad. But when its suggested as the solution to all of your problems, it can do more harm than good. Because it can leave you wondering, what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I love myself? Everybody keeps telling me I need to love myself more; why does it feel so hard to love myself?
Then there’s the whole idea of faking it until you make it. But love isn’t something we choose, it just naturally happens. Which means self-love, or any other kind of love, can’t be faked and trying to fake it probably won’t get you that far. So, here’s three things that I think will get you further than self-love - all of which you can implement from today if you aren’t already.
Humility keeps your sense of self-importance in check and helps you accept that everybody has their shortcomings. Humility is also one of the things that help you to avoid becoming like the person you need to heal from. Months back, I posted a TikTok highlighting reasons someone might ghost you. The reasons I mentioned were: to avoid confrontation, poor communication skills, self-centeredness and low emotional intelligence. Someone commented on the post saying that they ghost people to protect their peace. Which, I feel, falls under self-centeredness. Because surely, if someone is disturbing your peace, assuming they aren’t abusive, having a conversation to let them know you no longer want to keep in contact will get you the same result as ghosting them? Humility keeps you grounded and prevents you from being an asshole. While I don’t consider myself a kill them with kindness kind of person, at the end of the day, we all want to be treated with respect and kindness.